Yo, Me, Moi: Mapping a Life Thesis

In tumultuous, fractured times and considering the complexities of the human experiment, it can sometimes feel impossible to lead across divergent spheres of belief and influence.

I recently participated in a writers’ workshop where we were asked to reflect upon the intrinsic value of a body of work, specifically connected to the arc of our lives, careers, or whatever other prism we wished to consider.

As a worker, creator, thought-leader, influencer, and advisor now pivoting into broader venues for offering my talents and services to the world, I was compelled to understand the through line between two areas of focus: my creative and generative side: conceptualizing Brave Sis content, providing workshops and facilitations, with my values and impact thesis: providing strategic advisory around equity and inclusion, speaking out for justice and systems change, and engaging in influence areas as a volunteer and friend.

But there is another axis to consider, which permeates everything: on one side, the push (yang) of advocating and pushing for new, decolonized paradigms at the global (to hyper-local, including within the individual self!) — notions of redefining power as something expansive, inclusive, and co-creative (as opposed to extractive and transactional). On the other, the drawing-in (yin) of connectivity, love, trust, and “Beloved Community.”

What an interesting chart to plot, especially when you consider none of these things exist along a binary — binaries are limiting and defeatist. So instead, I drew a flower.

Person, Passion, Purpose

Recently, a friend in her north 70s referred to me as a “baby elder.” (As in, “you are not a young’un, but you’re not quite at the rocking-chair-lady on the porch either.”) Certainly, I’ve lived long enough to remember (vaguely) the fallout of the late 60s, (better) the torpor of the 70s, the angst of the 80s, the narcissism of the 90s, the distractions of the 00s, the disappointments of the 10s, and the dystopia of today. Taking a lifetime-arc-view, I see patterns. I see opportunities. I see necessities.

This is what I chose to write about, and what you are reading is the result of these reflections.

The Core of This Flower (A Rose?)

The center of a petalled flower (which a rose is not, but how could I not evoke my name?) is called a disk, to laypersons. (If you are a botanist, it gets much more complicated!) In mapping out my “life purpose,” what is at the epicenter, the core of everything is me, helping myself and others in normalizing the essentialism of pluralistic, diverse, and intersectional narratives in … basically everything.

The origin story of Brave Sis Project was about creating a self-help resource to encourage, witness, support, and stimulate women who looked like me (as a Black woman, and for other BIPOC women) and actually were tired of “asterisking” themselves into product and places made, exclusively, even if “not on purpose,” (by default) for white women.

Rozella is My First Name, Pluralism is The Middle One

Having grown up in predominantly white spaces in crazy, multicultural, proto-punk and early Hip Hop 1970s New York City, and lived in Paris, the UK, the South West, the Bay Area, and now the Pacific Northwest, I'm extremely adept and at home in navigating between cultural spaces and communities. Some have joked that as a Black woman, I "speak fluent white progressive," and while this may bring a smile, I know that it is both a strength and a calling for me to leverage my cultural, historical, and heartful Blackness as an asset in co-creating collaboration and progress.

My persona and shape-shifting message, kind, yet delivered with seriousness, is an intersectionality-forward one, and it has swayed hundreds, thousands of opinions over my entire life, and especially the five years since I founded Brave Sis Project. Whether I advise and collaborate with clients in workplace settings, spill the tea with my friends, or slip into thinking-and-mapping mode (like here), positioning my thought-leadership through the use of my loud voice, this melding of representation, worth, story, and meaning is what I’ve been put here to do.

You Never Get “There,” Wherever That’s Supposed to Be

In seeking to build a body of work and a life that can sustainably point towards the greater good, I've come to understand the futility of superficial checklists and token performative gestures which have sullied the discourse and practice around "Diversity, Equity, Inclusion, and Belonging" (add “Justice,” “Liberation,” “Mattering” — that one is very important — as your circumstances dictate).

In my opinion, good work always begins with shifting of personal mindset—a broadening of what one sees, understands, embraces, prioritizes, and responds to. (This applies to all of us, no matter what our race, culture, or class.)

And as I said, in various writings, this is the work of a lifetime insofar as there is no “arriving there”— it is never completed. The goal of “completion” is a ruse. Otherwise said, the minute you think you’ve sussed out one -ism, another one is waiting right around the corner for you to understand and dissect.

How to keep moving on? For me, it starts with conducting an ongoing wellness check into one’s bias and cultural competency. And adopting a de-centering, humble, and service-oriented stance. If I had one question to pose each change-agent in social impact sectors, it would be “what of what you have are you willing to set aside or give away so that more of us can all have what we need?” The trick to this question of course is that most of what we need in the life and the world are infinite (care, collaboration, compassion, understanding). What is not: natural resources and patience.

Lofty language, but values to believe in, and abide by.

Re-shuffling the Deck of Privilege Cards

To me, this de-centering and movement looks like positional privilege shuffling the deck and distributing more cards. Some folks call this hand “localization,” others, “global power shifting,” yet others, “cultural relativism.” Whatever the framework, it’s important that “the dealer” not always and only be the wealthy and the privileged. Having lived my early adulthood in Paris, I’m sensitive to the ways Americans seek to influence the world. Even laudable practices such as “DEI” (no shudder in using the term!) need tweaking before we foist them upon other countries.

Honestly, each community, from post-colonial innovators building mind-blowing tech in Tanzania, to the single-mother/home-cook-entrepreneur two zip-codes away who would have her own Michelin-starred restaurant in a perfect world—and even the miserable among us, whom we drive by every day, barely clocking their humanity—they all have (and have the right to) their own ideas about what they need and what they want.

When we de-center our "default "narratives, we can listen better, and we can contribute more effectively to real change. And to be clear, I am fully aware that the communities that are closest to us are sometimes the hardest ones to get next to (I haven’t been to a Baptist church in many decades). But: doctor heal thyself, I continue to push you (and therefore, myself) to be a better Outsider, because bad Outsiders do a panic inversion and turn people into "Others." Aren't we indeed, all kind of sick of this?

Get to Work

Another important tenant of interrupting “power” resides in reconsidering workplace and other group cultures. Mapping power, building systems of belonging (and mattering! like I said, this is the really important one), curating a list of impossible conversations and laying them on the table are some of the ways I have seen groups gain the ability to create authentic, non-performative measures—everywhere from organizational management structures to the PTA. There is zero utility in building spaces that are diverse and inclusive if they remain stratified, stultifying, and squelching.

A great deal of this work is fueled by ongoing learning and teaching. As a leader, convener, and human being, I learn as much as I teach. Part of my messaging to the white progressive women I've been fortunate to partner with is establishing clarity that I am no Magical One. I am not The Oracle, and I do not hold Universal Wisdom and Truth. What I try to be, wherever I am asked to have presence, is a convener of shared discussion, collaboration, and exploration! This is the brightest petal in the flower.

Beloved Community

(two lovely ladies I snapped during a walk)

Diving more specifically into the other major pillar of my purpose is building “Beloved Community.” I recognize that I am co-opting a term that is generally used in the ministry, and I am not of the ecclesiastical bent. However, I do believe in the true universality that every human has value, truth, (deep down, except for a most unfortunate few) and a desire to live in harmony with every creature that is alive on this earth. (If you are not that person, I wager you are not reading this TLDR essay!)

Obviously, a huge part of my value enactment revolves around shifting historical prisms, and erasures of “who matters, who gets celebrated, and who can be an inspiration.” That was the initial and original concept behind Brave Sis Project, and seeing how it continues to evolve is both gratifying and surprising.

I’m really looking forward to developing “World Brave Sis,” and working with friends and associates to learn the stories of the brave and courageous women who helped shaped their nations, particularly those emerging from colonialist domination. (If you’re a publisher or a patron, hit me up!)

Clearly, another extremely important part of this work that permeates everything I do is the desire to drive us towards intra- and inter-cultural sisterhood work and play. This means deeply interrogating the narratives, stories, and lies that have separated us and continued to separate us: Not only Black and BIPOC women from white women, but also us “women of the Global Majority” among each other.

I fully maintain that once we examine and release the limiting beliefs that have bound us about race, class, and culture, our combined power and ability to change the world is formidable. I consider a significant part of my charge is leveraging historical she-ro celebration as a means for collective connection in bravery and inspiration. Equipped with this possibility, we can—one and many—design what a sisterhood without racism could look like, and what our generative energy and action–both personal and communal–could seek to engender.

Using VOICE to Build the World We Want

Mass media, entertainment, fashion, literature, and so many other tenets of contemporary society feed us a steady diet of discontent, dissent, and discord, because it knows that when we are One, we cannot be stopped. At the same time, white feminists must understand that the traditional playbook was predicated on a legacy of historic domination (sometimes sadism) by white women over their women of color servants (you wanted me to say “sisters”). Having the temerity to embrace history, including the less savory parts, is the only way we write a new future. I make it my business to ensure that tutelage is as progressive and invigorating as possible.

And finally, a very important part of my being, something I do on the daily—from speaking engagements and online teaching to literal conversations in random places; in WhatsApp groups and group chats; over coffee, cocktails, or canapes; on weekend power walks; and certainly during the never-ending zoom loop—is shepherding women (and honestly all people) into the power of and possibility in their VOICE: Values, Overview of history, Interpersonal skill set, Care, and compassion, and Enthusiasm around intersectional feminism, storytelling for change, and de-centering those default whiteness narratives.

Say that with feeling: Allyship cannot be claimed, it can only be conferred. I’m blessed to be one of the people trying to help us all be deserving of that conveyance—across cultures, races, and all the intersections. It's enjoyable, honorable, and holy work, and I love seeing the many ways it can unfold.